We say good-bye to June 2020 today AND with the AC on and the dehumidifier on as well!

TERRY

Terry was sad yesterday afternoon as they had to put the feeding tube into her nose again.  She tries to eat and drink but as of now that is just so so difficult for her.  Physically she can do it but food and drink just are difficult to take in for her.  Why the feeding tube?  The doctors said that her body and her liver need the liquid.  He said if there is no feeding tube we do not want to go down that road.  So it went in about 4 PM and then they took her down for X-rays as they needed to make sure it was in correctly.  I face timed her about 6 last night and I would say for what she is going through she was pretty good.  I went outside and she could see the garden and then she wanted to see the newly painted kitchen windows too.  She thought things looked nice.  She had a visit from daughter Kim and was happy about that.  Kim will see her again today before she flies home later today.  I am hoping a doctor calls me today.  I will get to see her tomorrow.

As I navigate this weight loss journey I am trying new things.  Here is a Costco purchased veggie pizza with cauliflower crust.  I would give it an A and half a pizza has only 460 calories!  I will eat the other half this afternoon.

I had to taste my rhubarb/raspberry jam so I tried it on a piece of toast.  Don't worry about the cut off end as I needed to get the slice in the toaster!  After eating it I gave myself a pat on the back and almost hurt myself.

Travis and I tried out the new Coffee Cup cafe which is pretty near our house. You can now sit inside.  Funny some of the things they need to do.  Condiments are in the take out packs like you would get at McDonalds and the menu is a throw away one.  Wonder if they set the dish washer on extra hot!   It used to be several miles away but after a fire they moved.  Yes, the amount of food you get is the same!  There must have been 3 large potatoes at least.  Half came home and I enjoyed it for breakfast this morning.  AND yes I lost so I had to pay.  Then to make matters worse I stepped on the scale this morning and I started out phase two of weight loss with a gain😞.  AND worse yet our new stepping stone is John Mouw's birthday which is coming up on July 11.  Not much time to correct that weight gain.

In the last 36 hours we have gotten 3.3" of rain.  Some of that came over night again.  No more watering for some time now.  I am hoping it dries enough today so I can get the lawn mowed.  With company coming tomorrow we want to look nice, right?  

So it will kind of be somewhat busy today.  I plan to go to the store for ice this morning as Aaron/Amy need that for making ice cream.  It will take some time to make the potato salad.  I boiled the eggs yesterday and Travis helped me peel them.  Today I need to boil the potatoes and then it is a matter of slicing and dicing and dumping.  Mom's receipt does not have amounts for mustard. salt and pepper so that will be a guessing game.  We will see how good I am at guessing!

The neighbors across the back fence gave me the container back yesterday that I had sent over some rhubarb crisp in.  With that I then gave them a jar of each of the jams I made.  

Wanted to get some more work done on the front steps and also finish those kitchen windows BUT with temps as they are I may pass on both.

For some reason Travis did not bring any papers home so I did not sit in the kitchen right away.  That mean I went straight to the FP with NO pod coffee today.  That is all for now. 

A day for memories and not much work!

So 76 years ago in Veblen SD Dave came into this world.  In so many ways he was a man's man.  If you were in some way afraid of the truth you need not talk to Dave because he stood on the truth!  He was a man of many faces.  Here he has that bush man look but underneath it was a baby face to the day he left the earth.  If he were here you could ask him about those 100s of animals he talked about in his classroom OR you could ask him WHY did he wear a pick shirt every Friday?  If you wanted advice on woodworking he was the answer man.  If you wanted to know about restoring a pickup or car he could answer you.  How about a tune, he probably could play it for you.  AND perhaps more than anything he could give you an answer to your question with the answer coming right out of the Bible!  One could ask WHY did God take him home before he turned 76?  Well that is a question that only God can answer but I swear that before he left his earthly home he influenced many people and he did much good.  He left behind a legacy that one would not want to try and match.
I shed tears today not for Dave as I know where he is and he will have eternal life.  I shed tears because I will miss him so and my world is quite empty, at this time, because he is not part of it.  So today I think about:

• The guitar he crafted for me.  He said he felt sorry that he kind of left me holding the bag as he went off to work near Kulm in the summer of 1959.  He wanted to earn money and he and Dad off were like oil and water!  I promise you I never felt like he said.  
• Today I think about the MANY rounds of golf we played while going to school in Fargo.
• Today I remember 100s of nights lying in bed trying to get to sleep.  The heat in the summer was stifling and the cold in the winter was freezing but the conversation varied from girls, to our future, to farm life and everything in between.  I might add that many of those conversations took place in the summer as we were taking care of business in the three holer out back.  
• Today I remember the ball games with the corn crib as a back stop.
• Today I remember tag as we ran on the barn frame above the calf pens
• Today I remember the MANY times we forgot the water tank for the cows and it spilled over into the pen.  Always a cleanup job!
• Today I remember shooting sparrows in the barn at night.  When I think about that I am sure many of those shots just went right through the roof of the barn!
• Today I think about the bike rides to the lake.  Dave on the the big bike and I on the small bike. 
• Today I think about catching fireflies by the bridge east of the lake and bringing them home in a jar to show Mom.
• Today I think about the 1 1/2 mile walk to Wood Lake School.  Throwing rocks, kicking stones and much more often got us to school just before the bell rang.
• Today I think about making bale hooks, making wooden guns, shooting gophers and more.
• I am not sure who was the best shot but I know Dave and I pretty much kept the cats fed in the summer with dead Blackbirds.
• AND so so so much more

So I kind of gave up work today.  It seems right just to relax and REMEMBER.  Yes, when a family member dies life does go on.  Memories never go away but the raw emotion of losing a loved one kind of heals with age.  Never completely but somewhat.  I am guessing that on June 29, 2021 the pain will be somewhat less but it will still be there.  To save the day today I believe that I am lucky to have good memories even if several family members are not here.

June 29, brother Dave would have turned 76 today

TERRY

I will not see Terry for a couple of days as her daughter Kim is here.  I will visit her again Wednesday.  I will call the Dr. today as I have a question for him.  I will call her perhaps late in the afternoon as Kim will visit her between AM and PM therapy.  If I hear anything I will post but that most likely will not be the case.

Dave a great brother, a wonderful man and a talented guy would have been 76 today.

Your birthday will not be celebrated here but maybe with Jesus!!!

May your room in heaven be one of the BEST

Success with the jam.  I was able to make 9 jars of rhubarb jam and 9 larger jars of rhubarb/raspberry and all 18 sealed!  I don't know if it was beginners luck or skill but happy that they all turned out.  The raspberries in the jam were about half backyard berries and half store bought berries.  All the rhubarb came from the garden.  Now I have a problem, what do I do with all the jam?

Oh my the rain came!  I just emptied the gauge and it read 2.35". That should hold the flowers and lawn through this hot spell that we are looking at.  After today reaches 85 I see high 80s to low 90s for at least the next 10 days.  As I read that I doubt the rain will hold things up for that long.  BUT it looks like maybe some rain during those days.

Travis and I have arrived at our first recording in our weight loss contest and "for sure" I am buying breakfast this morning.  For the first day in the last six I am up a bit this morning so my % of weight loss for the last two weeks is just below 2%.  I know Travis will do much better so I had better bring cash or the checkbook this morning as the cafe we are going to does not accept credit cards.

With the heat not so much this morning I may get a couple of those windows finished.  There is just a bit of trim left but I need to remove both the upper and lower sash and I do not want to do that when we have 90 degree temps.

Well Travis is here and we are ready to go have breakfast!

Well I am back from breakfast with Travis and I think I just shot myself in the foot!!!

Before anyone makes a judgment about my choice pretty much every menu item at the COFFEE CUP is this size.  I would say there are about 3 potatoes on the plate!  So here I am trying to lose weight and I go out and eat like this, oh my gosh, my foot hurts from the self inflicted shot!  Well there is a bit of redeeming grace here as I did bring at least half of it home.  BUT the question is will I end up eating it as it could be breakfast for the next two days.

Coffe at the "Coffee Cup" means no FP this morning.  It may not be a good morning.  I will not see Terry today but will call her after her therapy this afternoon.  I hope her visit with daughter Kim goes well.  It looks like there will be a little more rain before all is over.  Darn, I should have reseeded the lawn as that would have been perfect.  I guess you can't win them all.  

Just a note before I head to bed

No pictures, no ideas, no news but I will write a bit before I head to bed.  It is about 9:00 PM and we have had a wonderful rain.  It shows .75" and we may get more.  That is good as we are looking at HIGH temps for the next many days.
I visited Terry for about 30 minutes today.  I just have such a difficult time as I know she would like to be home.  I know her stay has been way way way too long.  Yet she is so weak and she needs to be where she is.  Once again I take it one day at a time and hope and pray for the best.  I am exhausted tonight and as one could guess I have done nothing that should be tiring.  So I will wake up tomorrow ready, I think, to greet a new week and hope that Terry improves a LOT this week.  No I have to close all the windows and then get some sleep.  I think the sun will come up in the east tomorrow and it will be a good day.

Happy #18

Eighteen years ago Mary said yes because I love you and guess what?  John said the same.  And here they are with Big Brown (van), 4 great kids and a beautiful dog.  May you have many many more anniversaries and may God continue to shower you with his grace, protection and love.  Dad and Terry

June 28, the last Sunday of June in 2020

TERRY

Terry and I had our 30 minutes visit yesterday.  We will see each other again today and then daughter Kim is coming into town so she will visit her mom Monday and Tuesday.  

Here we are on our walk Friday.  Yesterday, Saturday, they would not allow anyone out of the building so we met in the hallway outside of her unit.  I would say for being confined for 85 days she is pretty darn good.  Her weakness is getting better oh so slowly.  I felt she was in good spirits but I know and I can tell that her illness is wearing on her.  The good thing is they have great staff there and that is a good thing.  I will see her today and then not until Wednesday again.  

Terry is the one going though so much but I admit I am wearing down to some degree.  I am sure that MANY people experience serious illness of loved ones and here I am saying that I now KNOW that it can be and is very very difficult.  My heart aches for Terry as I see how weak her legs are.  My heart aches for Terry as I think of being confined for 85 and more days.  My heart aches when I think of what may go through her mind as she tries to use her legs and they just will not do what she wants.  My hearts just hurts so when I have to leave her after a visit and she is wheeled back into her room.  If only I could do more to help her and be with her.  BUT for sure it is one day at a time and in God's timing she will be well once again.  When she is well enough to come home it will be a glorious day.

I did get some work done yesterday.  Of course the garden was watered.  I got about 80% of the kitchen windows painted and then got some patch work done on the sidewalk in front.  There is more patch work to do but I ran out of energy and I did go see Terry.  Not sure about work as tomorrow is Sunday and really one should not work then.  I still remember growing up on the farm and we were different than almost everyone else.  NO work on Sunday was the rule.  If I remember it almost seemed like a rule that for Sunday dinner (noon meal) we HAD to have fried egg sandwiches with a side of dill pickle.  Funny how that seemed to be the rule but I have never read that in the Bible!

Terry's daughter Kim sent me some Kona coffee so I will have to grind that and have some soon.  That is the best coffee ever!  Just in case someone has never seen or tasted it!

This week will have some excitement as Aaron/Amy and kids will be in town.  Everyone will be over here Wednesday so that should be fun.  For me it will be Mom's potato salad along with burgers and hotdogs.  Cynthia said she will bring the dessert.  Aaron and Amy are bringing their homemade ice cream maker so that should be fun.

I did a twin bill AND a taste experiment with my breakfast eggs this morning.  One side had thick medium salsa and the other side had homemade pesto.  I would say each was the same as both hit it out of the park so I will have an important decision to make tomorrow, which one?  I did have a pork chop on the side.  I think my eating has been going well as I am now down almost 7 pounds.  Funny how those pounds go away pretty slowly but they can come back pretty fast.  I did go to Costco yesterday as I had finished my garden lettuce and needed more.  As many would know you can go to Costco and get lettuce for about 1/3 the price of a grocery store.  For Travis and I our first weigh in happens tomorrow.  The loser has to pay for a breakfast out.  I think when we go I had better make sure I have my wallet!!!  While I was doing some little mount of work yesterday afternoon Travis went on an 8+ mile walk.  How in the heck can a 73 year old man compete with that?

Oh my gosh how times have changed.  I walked past a couple at Costco yesterday and the lady had on kind of a sheer white T shirt with nothing underneath.  I did not dare take a second look as I do not indulge in porno.

No I need to call the rehab center and find out when would be the best time for me to visit Terry today.

I will close today with an admission.  Today I feel like I could be 73 and maybe even somewhat older.  I need not explain that.  I just feel pretty old and I feel that I am running on fumes.  I am hoping that those fumes will be the fuel for some energy in the near future.  Sometimes life just seems to get in the way of the sun coming up to a great day.  Perhaps I am alone in my feelings, which I hope I am.  AND as the hours and days go by I am sure the sun will appear in the eastern sky like a ball of energy once again.  

Saturday, June 27 and the beginning of a long hot spell in MN

TERRY

I visited Terry for a half hour yesterday.  They got her in a wheel chair and we spent the time outside. She thought the sun was so wonderful.  After 20+ minutes she was exhausted and that was about the end of our 30 minutes together.  I brought some raspberries from the back yard and she really liked them.  The social worker said that the 30 day stay in acute rehab is not set in stone so we are not looking at early next week but perhaps a few days later.  I could tell that 80+ days in confinement is wearing on her.  Her tempter is kind of quick and her general personality just gives you the impression that she has had it.  AND I would add that is not good BUT who of us would be in a better place after 84 days?  I will visit her again this afternoon.

On a positive note my weight continues to go down each day.  I have a good breakfast.  I do NOT snack at all during the day.  I have an enormous salad in the afternoon and that is it.  The only other thing is Travis and I have many different drinks that are low cal or no cal at all and I do have several of those each day.  However I think I started this eating too late as Monday will be here soon and it looks like I am going to owe Travis a breakfast!  BUT I would say 6 pounds in 12 days is probably a good rate to lose weight at.  I don't know how long I am going to be disciplined for.  Yesterday my OLD habit of snacking kept nudging me to cheat.  My will power prevailed BUT today is another day and I need to not give in!!!

From this in our yard

To this in our kitchen

I have been pretty darn lazy over the last many days but I do some things.  I made rhubarb jam last night.  I had a bit left over after I filled the 9 jars so I put the last of it in the fridge.  I tasted it this morning and I would give it an A and maybe it deserves an A+ but I just do not give those out!  I think I have enough for another batch but I need to get some larger jars.  I looked in the basement and I have MANY of this size but they are pretty darn small.  IF I do another batch I may try something just a bit different.  I am thinking maybe a rhubarb/strawberry recipe.  I am thinking that if we can flood the heavens with prayers for Terry she will get well soon.  AND maybe I could bribe people with a jar of jam for a month long commitment of TERRY PRAYERS.    I don't mean 24/7 but just every day a special prayer for Terry!!!

Shoot I forgot my relay system with coffee this morning.  I sat down at the computer with my POD of coffee and forgot to turn on the pot of hot water for my FP. Now I have to do a TWO pod drink before my FP is ready.

We have not had much rain and when I look at the weather on my phone I am looking at high 80s and low 90s for the next many days so I have the sprinkler on the front lawn this morning.  Really it does not do much but it may keep it a little green.  For the next 10 days there is no relief in sight.  

Terry and I are apart of course but when I visit her this afternoon I will wish her a happy 111th anniversary!  No I am not crazy but we did get married as old people so we count months instead of years.  I take the OLD back as I wrote yesterday 73 is a relatively young age now days.

I am questioning painting today with the heat.  When I paint the window trim I need to take the window panes out for most of the day.  That may not be a good idea with sun and a temp of high 80s today.  Maybe just some of the trim where the windows do not need to come out, maybe!  It could be a good day to just not work!!!

August of 1959

Dad said he had to go to town for some camera things and Dave and I should take the truck and go over to Halvors for some grain.  We did not want to as our philosophy of "when Dad is away the boys will play" came into play often but not this day.  So Dad left in the car and Dave and I were left to do the work this day.  We knew we would have to be over at Halvors for about an hour so we calculated that we had a hour to kill before we had to work.  Dave took his rifle, the one Ronald gave him, and headed out across the rock dam below the out house to look for blackbirds in the trees across the creek.  After cousins Robert's death while hunting our rule was only ONE of us could be out with our rifle at a time.   I headed to the shop where I would find my board that I often set up so I could practice my knife throwing.  Of course I had NO reason to do the knife throwing but it was fun and I took every chance to have FUN.  I should add that I got to be pretty darn good.  Maybe not as good as some of those in James Bond movies but then I wasn't getting big buck to do it!  Finally about 10:30 it was time to get to work.  Halvors lived about 5 miles west and we headed that way.  As we drove past the lake and got to within a couple miles of their place we saw this large truck coming towards us at a fast speed.  They seemed to be almost in the middle of the road.  Dave moved over so far with the truck that I thought we may end up in the ditch and still the other truck approached way too far into our lane.  I thought to myself this may be the day we meet Jesus!  As the two trucks met the metal trim on the edge of our truck banged against the box of their truck but both of us continued on our way.  That may have been the closest I have come to seeing Jesus ever!  Our old truck that went through the fire is sitting as a rust pile in the trees of cousin Phillip's farm.  I would bet that to this day one could look at the rotted out box and see the metal that was banged that day.  Way way too close of a call and we never did understand WHY the other truck felt they had the right to drive right down the middle of the road.  One of 1000's of adventures that Dave and I had together.  

No it is probably time to get some things done but I may get on my bike first.  I have not gotten a ride in the last couple of days so time for a little exercise.  By now the FP is way over done with means it is not too hot and maybe a bit stronger than usual.

June 26, 2020 the last Friday of this month

TERRY

I had a long conversation with Terry's rehab Dr yesterday as he called me.  His first statement was "we seem to be taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back".  I would say that was not good news.  He then went on to say that they have not been able to get her to eat and she is also refusing to even think about a feeding tube again.  Wednesday she was so tired that she just refused to do any rehab work.  The Dr said that some of her attitude may be due to the fact that she has been confined for so so long but in the end there is and needs to be a lot of work done.  The tests they have done on her mental health shows that she is capable of making decisions for herself SO IF she says NO to something their hands are tied.  The team is meeting this morning to discuss where to go from here.  My prayers are going out that Terry may be open to what the team thinks is best.  
On the positive side they are now allowing ONE visitor a day and limiting it to 30 minutes.  It also must take place outside her room.  I called yesterday and they said I could come visit at 4:30.  I think that time was chosen because her therapy will be finished by then.  A couple of days ago I mentioned to her that I picked raspberries and she said oh that sounds so good.  Well she will get them this afternoon.  I called her twice yesterday to let her know but, for the first time in days, the calls went to voice mail.  That is the latest as of now.

When I was on my bike yesterday I found this to be the new NORM.  People just throw their masks anyplace at any time.  Nice, right?

I found new life in this article.  Jim Kiick of the Miami Dolphins of the 70s recently died.  Now that does not give anyone new life BUT in the article it said he died at a relative young age, he was 73--my age.  So now I can hang on to the FACT that I am relatively young.  The sad part of this story is he had been in an assisted living place for several years as he suffered from football related brain damage.

A very interesting story in the New York Times.  This statue of Roosevelt has been at the museum since 1940 but it is being removed.  The article says it is not being removed because of Roosevelt but because it depicts him on a horse and the Native American and African man are standing on the ground.  I guess the new thing is American presidents are no higher than us, the common person.  I have decided I will not aspire to become president now.  Looking at the age of the current candidates I am NOT too old.

I have a problem and I have no idea how to solve it.  Travis and I are having a contest to see who can lose the most weight based on a % of weight loss.  I think that is all fair and good BUT it is a fact that it is harder for OLD people to lose weight so I am thinking there should be some kind of handicapping factor for me.   BUT I can not find any way to get that info.  I may just have to forget it and be humble in losing.  I never did like to lose but then again there are a lot of worse things in life.

I scraped the window sills and caulked the windows in the kitchen yesterday.  So this morning it is primings the areas that need to be primed and then maybe getting paint on them tomorrow.  I ended up burning the paint off the sills as they just did not come clean with sanding.  Some of my old painting days came back to mind.

We got enough rain to wet the sidewalk and that was it.  I may just have to water the front yard tomorrow as starting tomorrow the HIGHS for the next 9 days range from 88-91, ouch!

The FP is down to half a cup.  Yes, I did the relay system again where I start with a POD of coffee and then hand it off to the FP when that is finished.  I could not believe the clock this morning.  I looked at the time at 6:15 and said I would like to sleep more.  I turned over and the next time I glanced at the time it was 7:45, way to go Carmen.

June 25th, Thursday

somehow this failed to get posted on June 25th
TERRY

Really nothing new about Terry this morning.  I did talk to her yesterday afternoon and she seemed to be in good spirits.  She did have something happen Tuesday late evening that she talked about but I want to call the nurse this morning to see what it was.  She said when the Dr. came in yesterday morning he told her she gave them a scare.  I need to find out what that was.  I am hoping to make some headway on a place for her next week.  

Mom and Dad were married on this day 85 years ago, 1935.  I would say they did a great job in raising their family of six.  At times when I sit back and "remember" I focus on the good things and the good times.  There were times that were difficult, times that one would like to forget but really isn't that LIFE?  The six of us kids certainly knew what "little money" was and we knew what "love" was as well.  If I am honest here I would say that they were far from perfect but then if there are perfect parents anyplace I would certainly be very surprised.  As I look back on the way Gail and I raised our children I hope they forget some of our mistakes!  It would even be better if they forget ALL of the mistakes!!!  THANKS Mom and Dad for your love, your care and your sacrifice.

This was our garden last Monday.  I know that it would not make the Better Homes and Garden magazine but at this point it is doing well.  So far I have enjoyed lettuce and radishes out of it.  I have seen tiny cucumbers and peppers on the vines.  Also the beans are going crazy and there is also a row of Dale Binde's wheat and that looks like a bumper crop in the making.

I will do a little more work on the Kitchen windows today.  I would like to have them ready for a coat of primer by tomorrow and then a coat of paint after that.  We are looking at an extended period of heat after tomorrow so not sure when I will get finished.  It may sound like I am looking for an excuse to not work and I think that is not the case, I THINK.

I need to get out on the lawn this morning with another round of weed killer in certain spots.  I may change my way of mowing the lawn as well.  It seems that the back gets more shade and therefore grows a bit more because it does not get too warm so I may just mow that today and leave the front for another day.

How about that, we have raspberries ripe for the picking!

The summer of 1954

It was a hot North Dakota summer day.  Dave and I had the morning to do whatever as Dad was gone when we woke up.  Mom had asked us to pull some weeds in the garden as we had neglected to do ANY work in the garden for several days.  I liked to cultivate between the rows with our hand push little cultivater pretty much like the one below.

Now it was not hard to push this between the rows to kill the weeds BUT to pull weeds was another story.  So the garden task of pulling weeds went by the wayside and Dave and I decided that it would be a better use of our time to make some wooden guns and play.  We had many guns already but it was always fun to get an old scrape of wood and make more.  For some reason Dave decided to get kind of fancy and he drew a really fancy looking gun on the wood.  With coping saw in hand he started sawing it out of the old wood.  I got impatient and went over to see why he was so slow as I wanted to start the cops and robbers game.  By accident I brushed against the wood and Dave's new fancy gun was in pieces!  AND the race was on.  There was an old bat in the corner of the shed and with one hand Dave scooped it up and the chase was on.  I remember Mom yelling "YOU BOYS STOP IT BEFORE SOMEONE GETS KILLED" as I raced past the kitchen window with Dave not far behind.  Now Dave was 2 1/2 years older than me and I am sure he was faster BUT when my life seemed to hang in the balance I did out run him.  I raced past the gas pump and towards the corncrib.  Dave finally gave up and went back to the shed to make a new one.  About a half hour later Dave did have his new gun and all was good.  Actually as the cops and robber game got a bit old we did start to feel badly and wandered over to the garden to pick weeds in the peas and tomatoes.  At lunch time we did get a talking to from Mom as she was not a happy mom.  Dave and I just kind of glanced at each other with a barely notable smile and ate our fried egg sandwich with Mom's dill pickles as a side.  

No I was up way too early and already, 6:30 AM my FP is gone.  I think I will make some breakfast and then get to work on the windows.  I took out a cube of pesto last night so it should be ready to spread on the eggs.  I may have to find an old newspaper to read as I prepare breakfast as Travis did not work last night so I have no current paper.  Well to be honest it seems like now the paper is same old same old stories every day so maybe I can skip the reading for this morning.

Wednesday, June 24th and another perfect Minnesota weather day

TERRY

There are some things new to Terry:

• Her caregiver had her outside, in a wheel chair, for a few minutes.  She said it was great
• They have taken her 24/7 aide out of her room and placed her in the hall by her door.  This is to get Terry to a place of not so much care.
• At this point there is NO talk of a feeding tube, GREAT
• She did say she stood a few times but was surprised she could not walk!
• I am pleased to report that she did call me her love yesterday so we are several days away from the night time divorce threat!!!
• She so so much wants me to be able to visit her AND that may happen sometime in the near future.
• We (social worker and I) are in the process of helping her understand that she needs a transitional placement for a period of time.  I am sure she does not want that and neither do I but in order for me to care for her when she gets home she needs to be somewhat stronger.
• That is it for my "Terry" report today.

As I read this article in the WSJ this morning I thought I need to cut that out and send to Dave as he would really enjoy reading it.  THEN my mind kicked in and I thought "Sure Carmen, go ahead and send it to Jamestown but as you know that is the wrong address"!

From this on our deck

To this in my kitchen

To this on my breakfast table

So now I love pesto.  It was kind of fun making it and pretty darn simply.  I think I may have used a tad too much salt but it is very good.  I think this may be my "go to morning meal" for a few days!  I just will have to remember to take a cube out of the freezer in time for it to thaw out.

So I have a NEW plan for weight loss as that Travis is way ahead of me and our first "test" is coming up next Monday.  So the liquid I drink is the low calorie kind of drinks.  I know they pretty much taste awful but then who wants to drink and be fat?   I have a nice breakfast in the morning and then mid afternoon I have a salad like this.  Two meals a day with NO snacks.  Home grown lettuce, home baked chicken, cherry tomatoes, carrots (I forgot yesterday), home grown radishes and topped with an avocado dressing but not more than 2 T as that is my calorie limit for the dressing.  Well I just started this yesterday so we will see if it works long term.  I actually was down this morning which means after the first 9 days I am now a bit less than when we started.  I have said before that the gain over the weekend was ALL the fault of those darn Lees from South Bend who visited and then I ate too much.  Of course I am totally innocent of any lack of self discipline!!!

I admit I am pretty much half a Plugger.  I find it difficult to get my mask off without having one of my hearing aids come off as well!   My glasses never come off so there is the 1/2 Plugger.

I did make a purchase yesterday.  We had a twin bed in the north bedroom for the last many years.  But it was kind of like me, a bit worn and old!  So I biked up to the Highland Village where there is an Original Mattress store and purchased a new one.  I am thinking we need a good bed when Terry comes home and so the old had to go and the new will come in.  I will pick it up today.

No I think there is a bike ride on the schedule this morning and then some prep to get ready to paint the kitchen windows later.  I need to get that done before warmer weather sets in.  Yes, I had my starter coffee fresh out of the pod machine and then sailed into the rest of the morning with my pot of FP AND it, as usual, was glorious.

Another cool day in June

TERRY

It has been some time since I have talked to any staff at rehab.  I did talk to Terry yesterday afternoon and I feel she is beginning to sound more like herself each day.  Now that is my mind set and not any of the staff there.  I expect a call from the social worker this week as we work out a place for her to move to as she gets better.  I have many concerns about how we can do things with her at home in our St. Paul house but that is something that we will just have to deal with as we get closer to her coming home date.  I still have big concerns about her eating and getting enough nutrients into her body and I do not want to hear that they need to insert a feeding tube.  It is still a "one day at a time" kind of thing.  My concern this week is I know she wants to come home (and I want her to come home) and I hope that she can accept and understand that she will still need some work in a transitional rehab before that can happen.  As always prayers are needed and wanted!

Helen's husband Mike would have celebrated his 76th birthday today if he were still with us.

As the years go by it is easy to see that the world is changing so fast and it is hard to keep up with all that is new.  I read this in the WSJ this morning and thought how in the world can that be?  Then as I read the article it is about the virus.  There is a $300 ring that one can wear and it gives you input as to your temperature and other info that may be the beginning of getting sick.  This is related to the possibility of sports starting up again.  Who would have thought?

The neighbors that have a back yard which is next to us have two daughters.  The oldest one made a lemon cake for her dad for Father's Day and they gave a piece to me, yum!

I actually did get some work done yesterday in the kitchen.  Travis and I saw the South Bend Lees off as they headed to the Boundary Waters and then it was time to get some things done.  I had new kitchen windows put in 2 years ago.  I had painted the windows but had not gotten to the bare wood trim around each one.  So they got primed yesterday.  Now the real work is ahead of me as there needs to be chalking done and then some repair, not much, on the inside trim before the final coat of paint goes one.  It would be nice if I could get that done this week but we will see.  

I really do not get out and about much these days as the virus affects everyone I think.  But Jerry W called about 11:30 yesterday and asked if I wanted to have lunch.  Places are now open for limited number of people to eat in so we met at a cafe in Highland Village.  

No it is time to make a plan for the day and get some things done.  The FP is still not completely finished so will take a few minutes to savor it before I get down to doing something.

A busy day

TERRY

Well I did not do too well yesterday.  I called Terry about mid day and in our talk I mentioned, in a loving way, her need to eat so there needs to be NO feeding tube.  She got very upset.  She said there would never be that and then shortly after she said good-bye.  We did talk later in the evening and she sounded good.  I would say her feistiness in the afternoon was perhaps a good things but at the time it got me down.  We are now on the week where we will be talking about some transitional placement.  I only hope that it goes well.  

My black thumb reminded me of times long ago.  There I am working hard in our shop.  As you can tell it certainly was state of the art!!!  I have circled our drill press.  The cylinder that is in the circle would be pressed down with the handle as one was drilling.  Well as I was fashioning my new putter for my golf course I had my left hand on the top and the cylinder was pulled down as I drilled.  The lever slipped and the cast iron cylinder shot up and crushed my thumb against the stop on top.  That was the last time I lost a fingernail and the only time I had to tie my hand above my head.  I have written about it before but perhaps never with the picture.  I think it was the only time I saw stars in the middle of the day with a bright sun!  As one can see my shop skills had not gotten very far at that time as I am cutting a piece of wood with a saw intended for metal.  AND I promise I am NOT saying they are great now either.  You can not see my feet but I would bet $100 I did not have shoes on.  No hat and no shirt was pretty much every day on our North Dakota farm.  The shoes and shirt went on if we were allowed to ride with Dad into town.  I would point out that there is a big smile on my face and I do think that was pretty much everyday, almost!

It is 9:00 AM and the Lee's are on their way to the Boundary Waters.  They will be gone 2 weeks and will come through on their way back to South Bend.  They arrived yesterday and we all went over to Steve's for dinner.  After breakfast and a LOT of FP they packed and were ready to leave.

I have not planned out the day yet.  Weather wise it is just a perfect day.  It is currently 70 with a high of 75 for the day.  As I opened the back door this morning I noticed the gallon of primer sitting there and it kind of had a message on it.  Get this on the windows in the kitchen!  Not sure how that can came to talk but it was pretty clear!  Maybe!!!

It does not seem like it is Monday.  I keep thinking it is the weekend and maybe that is because of John/Mary and kids being here.

So the FP, all three pots, is gone and it is now time to figure out the day.  I should not waste it as days like this do not happen often.  Work, I THINK here I come!

Company day

TERRY

I called Terry about mid afternoon yesterday.  I thought I would be getting her after all of her therapy was finished BUT she was just finishing up one.  She sounded good.  As always she was tired.  She had several therapies during the day.  She said she thought she slept fairly well.  Again she mentioned that she had a pretty good day.  Still sounds like she is struggling with eating enough but I am hopeful that will gradually get better.  We are now on the countdown as she only has perhaps 9 or so days left in acute rehab.  I have done some research on transitional rehabs and have printed out info on 6 of them.  I am thinking the social worker and I will have a conversation about a place mid to late next week.  All in all it seemed to me that there is kind of an up tick in her health.  Is that real or is that my position kind of attitude?  I really do not know.

I know, a bit unconventional but I am trying.  This was my breakfast this morning.  Garden lettuce, garden radishes,  home made baked chicken and cherry tomatoes all with avocado dressing.  I limited the dressing to no more than 2 T as it has 150 calories per T.  I know it is not your typical morning food but then we are certainly living in a nontypical time so I think it is fair to say anything goes.  

That darn new mower did it again yesterday.  I was less then 30 seconds from DONE and the battery decided to take a rest!  So with less than a minute to go I needed to wait for more than an hour for the battery to charge!  THEN, to my surprise, as I sat on the couch and looked out towards the street later I see that I missed the middle of the boulevard.  How bad is that?

I woke up at about 6 AM and could not go back to sleep.  Well I did have about 8 hours of sleep but I feel tired this morning.  I think I need some fresh air so will bike on down to the village and just ride around.  I still shake my head as I sit and look out towards the street.  I would say half of the people who are riding or walking have a mask on.  WHY???  I did see one seedy looking guy with a bulge in his backpack so if I read in the paper this morning that Wells Fargo was robbed I will call in with a description!  Medium build, dirty white tennis shoes, hooded sweat shirt over his head and baggy pants.  Can't say if he was white, black or other as that would be racism.

I am having kind of a hard time over the last few days.  I think I need to turn over my calendar as the month of June was for Dave with 6 pictures of him.  NOT a good thing for me to sit at the computer and then often glance over at the calendar.  He would have been 76 a week from tomorrow.  

Early August of 1958

It is early afternoon and we are harvesting rye on Jim's land down south.  Dad is in a pretty good mood.  Rye is always the first to be harvested as it is planted in the fall so it comes up by the time the rest of the crops are planted.  The straw is extra heavy this summer and Dad took off the belt on the back of the combine where the straw comes out.  That leaves the straw in a windrow which Dad said he is having Rollof ball.  That means will will have straw bales to load and put into the barn.  I always liked that as they are so much lighter than alfalfa bales.  I pretend they are the same weight and throw them around as if I am a strong man!  Anyway Dave is kind of excited.  When we harvest Jim's land one of each three truck loads goes to the elevator in Geneseo which means Dave gets to drive the combine when Dad drives to Geneseo.  It also means that just maybe Dad will come back with root beer or some candy!  It is a quiet day and rye is not the worst to harvest so the "itch" factor is low and that is always nice.  Now oats, that is another story.  Dave and I sit in Big Red, the truck and talk about life.  We have already come to the conclusion that we do not want to be farmers.  Our machines are old and they often break down.  The land has too many of those darn rocks and cleaning out the barn by throwing manure out the window is not a favorite past time.  Oh, and it seems that darn water tank in the barn always overflows and we kind of forget that it is our fault!  We talk a lot about school.  We miss Wood Lake rural school but then we have new friends in Cayuga and that is good.  Dave is kind of apprehensive about school as he is going to be starting high school.  It seems that we never run out of things to talk about and sometimes it even means that I almost miss my job.  My job is to estimate when the rye will get up to the auger in the tank.  I then climb the ladder on the side of the combine and level the grain out so Dad can go a bit farther before we unload.  I really like to guess when I need to be in the tank because I jump out of the truck and race across the field in bare feet.  The stubble, the Canadian Thistles are no match for the leather soles of my bare feet.  I then take note of how close I was to arriving as the grain touches the auger!  I know, kind of a weird way of having fun but one makes your own fun on our farm!  On the fourth load that goes into the truck it is full and Dad heads to Geneseo while Dave takes the tractor and combine and pretends he is a grown man and I sit in the tank probably singing some goofy song.  We always guess how many bushels of grain will be in the truck.  Four tanks into the truck should mean 200 bushels but often the grain weighs more than the standard so then there are more.  Now the standard weight for rye is 56 pounds per bushel so IF the rye weighs more than 56 then the load will be more bushels which is often the case.  Anyway Dave and I have a contest to see who can come the closet to the # of bushels.  I have no idea who usually won but my guess is it may have been 50/50 most of the time.
As the sun gets low in the sky the humidity starts to come in and we have to quit for the day.  Dave and I are pretty happy as that means we will be able to jump on the bikes and get our lake bath in before the mosquito get too bad.  All in all a pretty fun day living in rural North Dakota on an antique kind of farm!!!

Maybe not such a good day as I did NOT have my FP.  Lazy me went with the POD coffee and using the Starbucks it is not bad.  Time for a bike ride.

Saturday, June 20th and kind of a perfect weather day

TERRY

I had a long talk with Terry's rehab Dr. yesterday.  He said so many things and the words were too difficult to spell that I may not capture everything!

• He was very pleased that she can stay in acute rehab for another 2 weeks.
• He mentioned several times that they are struggling to keep her sodium at a good level
• They have done MANY tests and for the most part they come back normal
• Those tests include brain scans, MRI tests and the list is long
• He said she appears to be somewhat stronger now but still very weak
• She is struggling with eating enough
• It appears to him that her cognitive state is getting better
• They will continue to work very hard with her for the duration of her acute stay
• Yesterday she remembered his name for the first time in several days
• He came across as if he believes her state of mind will totally come back after she is out of the hospital

Over all it was an uplifting and positive conversation.  In spite of our talks which have been less than acute it gave me a sense that we are on the right track and Terry will be getting better BUT yes it will be a very slow journey.  

The next few days will be about family.  John/Mary and kids will be here tomorrow night.  Then next week Aaron/Amy and kids come into town for a few days.  I had a fun time with Jude and Benedict when they were here and now I will have to get a couple of the girls over in the next weeks.  They are going up to Mary/Mark on the farm.  I mentioned that I can not compete with what they do there and Mike said neither can Mom and Dad!

I am just kind of out of words this morning.  I think my tank is low on energy and I am not sure just how to fill it again.  The uncertainty of everything just wears and gets to a person.  I sometimes take a nap in the afternoon but not like yesterday, 2 1/2 hours!!!  

When Aaron/Amy are in town we will all have a meal here and that will include the Adkins as well.  I have committed to making Mom Lee's potato salad which Joan and Helen made when they were here.  I almost nervous already as they are pros and I will be doing it for the first time.  It looks easy so maybe there is hope!

The FP coffee is not finished but I am out of words so will sign off.

A memory

As I sit at my computer and look out I think.  A perfect day.  There was over an inch of rain last night and the air seems so fresh.  It reminds me of times long ago.

A SUMMER DAY IN EARLY JUNE OF 1957

There is NO call from Mom this morning.  Dave and I wake up about the same time.  We remembered that we went to bed listening to the rain and now as Dave gets up and peers out our window he has a big smile on his face.  He says, "I can tell by the tracks going into the shop that we got a lot of rain last night."  He climbs back into bed and we begin to plan out a fun day.  It was supposed to be a rock picking day.  Dad has all the fields planted but they are not up yet.  That means that every day is a rock kind of day.  But we know that will not be the case today as the fields will be too wet.  On wet days like this Dad usually ends up going some place or doing some picture work.  For us we know it will be a "play day".  Yes, we know the barn pens could be cleaned but Dad usually forgets about that.  We know we could do some work in the granary but Dad also usually does not mention that.  So as we lie in bed in the early morning hours we put together a plan for the day.  Of course we have to milk the cows this morning but that really will not take long.  I have in mind that I want to spend some time in the driveway.  There is a low spot that Dad has never built up so after a rain it is always filled with water.  I love to dig little ditches and drain the water and I know that is a good thing as it makes the driveway dry up faster but for me it is just fun to dig and drain and watch the water drain into the tall grass to the south.  But Dave has other plans.  He suggests we take some of the old wood that is in the shop and make some things.  He suggests we can make more guns that will shot rubber bands or we just could draw on wood and use the coping saw to cut things out.  You can tell that Dave is a bit more creative than me!  

It turns out to be a glorious day.  We do a lot of different things and none of them seem like work.  We make several guns.  I get to drain the water out of the driveway.  Mom gives in and makes pancakes that we drench in chokecherry syrup.  She even goes a bit farther and fries up some ground up venison that was left over from the night before.  We do get the milking done in almost record time and when all is said and done for the early morning Dad is nowhere to be found.  The car is gone and Mom says he went to Geneseo to mail some wedding pictures that he had gotten back the day before.  She then said he probably went to Lidgerwood as he is almost out of film.  

So the day belongs to Dave and I.  It is glorious in that the fresh air, the open country and the western winds just seem to blend into one and we seem to be free as birds.  It is only years later that I can look back and appreciate how special those times were.  Way back then it seemed that life with family would go on and on and on in the same way.  We would always have happy times, siblings and parents would never die and of course life would be one happy event.  

Well as we all know when we get to be adults life is not really that way.  BUT I am so thankful that I was blessed to be in the mentality for several years AND they were good years.  I know that even back then there were times that were not great but it seems, for me, real life begin in October of 1964 when brother Ronald, Red as John and Glorine would say, died suddenly as it seems that was the time that I begin to realize that life is and can be difficult.  Even in difficult times God is good but somehow the innocences of childhood often mask that out.  For that I am grateful and also grateful for the life I have today.

A nice rain

TERRY

I updated about Terry yesterday afternoon so I have no more news BUT.  I did talk to her after that.  She sounded better than she had sounded for some time.  She said her day was pretty good.  She talked about how her feet and legs do not do what she wants them to do.  She said she had a good day which is something she had not said for some time.  She was not down at all when I said I had good news in that she could stay in acute rehab for 2 more weeks.  I thought to myself, just after I said that, maybe I should not have shared that as she has been in for 76 days.  I THINK IF THAT HAD BEEN ME I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SO POSITIVE!  I expect to talk to the Dr. today.  

I am thinking Grandpa has two budding woodworkers on his hands.  Here are Benedict, left, and Jude, right, taking their projects very seriously yesterday afternoon.  No worries about safety.  Grandpa operated the table saw, kept them far away and unplugged it when he was finished using it.  I think they will do a great job of keeping woodworking in the Lee family.  I know, they are Adkins BUT still half Lee!!!

We had a perfect rain yesterday with 1.1" falling late afternoon and into the night.  That should keep the lawn good for a week and I should not need to water the garden for a couple of days.  With the rain in the past I will fertilize the lawn today and that will do it for another 2 weeks.  Looking forward through the next 10 days we have 70s and then towards the end of that time are in the 80s.  Sounds like great summer weather to me.

Jude and Benedict will go home this morning and then it will be quiet again here.  John and family are spending Sunday night here as I think they will be on their way to the Boundary Waters.  Every time I get to spend time with them I feel like Grandpa has gotten small as he is taller than Elspeth and Audrey and that is IT.  Those darn boys are just getting way too tall.

No it is 5:55 and I think I can get the lawn done before the boys wake up so will sign off.  I have FP made but may wait until I do the lawn which will take maybe 20 minutes or so.

An update on Terry

Nellie, the social worker, called about 3:45 this afternoon with an update.  I will try to explain what she shared:

• Medicare usually  limits Acute Rehab to about 2 weeks and Terry has been in it already 16 days.  THEY HAVE APPROVED, FOR NOW, 30 DAYS.
• With the feeding tube out of her nose she needs to eat and it is just difficult for her.  She can chew and swallow but she just is not hungry.  IF that continues a feeding tube will have to be put into her stomach.  Let's pray that she can eat.
• Her team will start talking about a transitional rehab perhaps late next week in case she has to be released after 30 days. 
• I was concerned as she often talks about Kim and I wondered IF she felt her daughter Kim were there.  Nellie said she pretty much refers to most of the staff as Kim!
• Nellie said she would refer to the Dr. concerning Terry being mixed up at times.  She did say that for people who have been confined for a long time they often have to wait until they get home and then often they are on solid ground again.  Let us hope and pray that is Terry.

That is pretty much it.  I was so happy that she can be in acute rehab for two more weeks.  That is certainly good news.  That is all for today.

Mid 80s and rain this afternoon a good day!

TERRY

I talked to Terry yesterday afternoon.  She was finishing her second PT session.  She sounded pretty good but she did mention Kim was with her and I called to see if there is a Kim working with her or if she was talking about her Kim who is in GA.  I did not get a call back.  I am hoping to talk to the rehab dr today to get his take on how Terry is doing.  That is all I have for this morning.

Here are some flowers around the outside of the house.  I felt that with ALL the ugly things happening in the world around us some beauty would do everyone good!  

Here are the dolls that Elspeth brought down stairs to show Grandma and Grandpa when we visited them last fall.  I think she likened them to Grandpa and Grandma.  I was not sure if I should laugh, cry, get upset or go look in the mirror!!!  Well one could guess that I laughed but I did look in the mirror before I went to bed!

Larry B came over this morning and we chatted for about an hour.  We had a breakfast of biscuits and scrambled eggs with ham, olives and basil out of the garden.  AND of course there was FP coffee on the side.  I thought it was an upgrade from going to Hidden Falls Park and having coffee and Burger King breakfast sandwiches.  Last time it was Larry's treat so today it was mine.

I will pick up Jude and Benedict this morning and they will be here for an overnight.  Not sure what we will do as my wood shop is still a mess but we will find something to do and I am sure it will be fun.  

The weather has changed and there is supposed to be NO 90+ today.  Just in the mid 80s with rain late afternoon and early evening.  I hope that comes true as the garden and lawn are begging for rain. I can put some tap water on them but there is nothing like real God given rain.

That is all for this morning but IF I get to talk to the dr and he has news I would put it on this afternoon.  The FP was depleted while Larry was here so I am sipping the last drops of a pod French roast which is kind of like a second best thing!

TERRY

I do not have any new info on Terry.  I will call her this afternoon.  She sounded fairly good when I talked to her last night.  I will call her this afternoon.

Last Wednesday before the visitation at the funeral home Judi, John, Helen, Joan and I drove to Kulm which is 50 miles from Jamestown.  Janet and John lived there for a time and Ronald and Glorine lived there too.  We visited Janet's grave and I do not think I had ever been there.  The house is where Janet and John lived.  When they lived there it was a basement house and later someone built a home on the basement.  Pretty interesting.  I remember walking down into their home when it was only a basement but of course that was maybe 60 years or so in the past.

I had Ernie, Dennis and John over for coffee and a goodie this morning.  They are friends that go way back and it is always good to catch up.  We got together last year and decided it would be a yearly event.  It s always fun to catch up on the latest in people's lives.  Ernie and his wife Carmen lost a daughter this past winter.  

Not much on the agenda today.  I watered the lawn and garden this morning.  It was fun for me as the guys mentioned how good my lawn looked.  It has taken a few years to get it to the place it is at and it  is always fun for me to try and keep it looking nice.  

Before I received the call about Dave last week I had the primer sitting in the hallway ready to get the trim on the kitchen windows primed and then painted.  Well of course that was put on the back burner.  This week the weather is just a bit too warm to paint.  It was 91 yesterday, maybe the same or hotter today and hot again tomorrow.  I do not like to paint when the temps get so hot.  On the other hand it may be just an excuse to not work!  No I will get at it this weekend.

I spent about 45 minutes on the phone this morning as my internet was down.  It finally got up and running again so all is good.

I had the breakfast food with 1% milk today as I want to keep the weight going down.  I stepped on the scale this morning and it was down a tiny bit so I got to put a minus sign by the date.  A good 2 day start to weight loss.  Tomorrow, I am not sure!!

No the FP was enjoyed by the guys this morning so all is good.