CARMEN LEE--LIFE IS NOT A VACATION, IT IS A JOURNEY

Yes there is plenty to do.  There happens to be some dirty dishes in the kitchen that could be put in the dish washer.  The den looks like a hurricane went through and scattered papers from end to end.  The inside of the garage begs for some cleaning.  AND it kind of goes on and on and on BUT it seems with this virus going full bore throughout the country as well as here it also seems kind of a good time to sit and think.  Don't get me wrong, thinking can be a great thing and it can also be a spiral towards sadness.  I am NOT sad but oh my goodness this picture pretty much pulls at my heart strings.  If this picture were in 1960 this is what you would see:

• Beyond where you see the deer stand you would see a line of trees from left to right.  AND there would be no deer stand.
• On the left side of the picture would be the driveway.
• Looking straight ahead one would be looking at Mom's garden and the house would be in the middle of the picture.  On the right side there would be many rows of trees running west-east.
• When I took this picture I was standing on the road and right in front of me would have been my sand green for my 100 yard golf course.
• If you could see the house just beyond that would be Mom's clothes line and you would not see the shop as it would be behind the house.
• Kind of to the middle of the picture but a bit to the right would be where our garage had been years ago but it would have been cleaned up in the 60s.  
• Memories ALL over the place.  Even though our family had little money AND in the years after all of us had left home there came to light things that were not good still the memories of growing up are GOOD memories.  

You are correct, one can not and does not want to live in the past so here we are on the first Friday of April and life is pretty much same thing, same thing.  The country seems to not even being near the peak of sickness so each day we hear more and more about staying home, wearing covering over your face, keeping a safe distance from other people and it goes on and on.  I am going to drive up to Ft Meyers today to drop off some papers but that is it.  Other than that it will be to stay home and maybe get some things done--I will not bet on it!  I experimented some this morning with breakfast.  I did a small amount of hash browns in the pan and then kind of made a shallow hollow in the middle of them.  Before I turned them over I cracked an egg and let it cook for a bit.  I then flipped it over and let it fry for a bit.  I had a side of a pork sausage that I had made and frozen.  It turned out to be a great compliment to the FP.

AND THEN THERE WAS ME--maybe 1998 give or take a few years

It had been a camp that would stick in my mind until I went to the grave or until my memory failed me!  We had several events that had been very serious.  I will not go into them but I will say that I had made decisions that were at the very best very difficult.  Events had started happening in late afternoon and it seemed like it was one after the other.  Finally 11:00 PM came and things seemed to be settling down.  I was exhausted, I felt beaten down and my heart seemed to be outside of my body.  Everyone in my leadership team had finally said good-night and there I was alone.  Bed did not seem very inviting so I put on a light jacket as there was a chill in the air and I went for a walk.  As I walked down the dusty road in the middle of camp I felt as if there was a whole world out there but I was all alone.  I shuffled up the big hill by the dining room and entered on the north side.  There was dim light in the room but it felt strange.  I felt in my pocket and there was my phone.  I slowly took it out and looked at the time.  It was 1:45 AM.  I looked in disbelief as I thought maybe it was 10 or so.  With almost a desperate lump in my throat I felt I had to talk to someone and so I dialed Gail who was at home.  It seemed like it rang forever but I knew after a few rings it went to voice mail.  I needed someone and so I knew a voice mail was worthless and hung up.  I went over to the coffee machine which was always on and filled a camp cup with THAT camp coffee.  I sat down on a bench and as a few tears of despair trickledown my face I prayed.  Lord, please make these situations reflect your goodness and love.  As I drained the coffee cup I slowly rose and walked back to where my leadership team was sleeping.  Things did turn out well and there was no doubt that God was present and he was GOOD.

Enough for this morning.