Here I am at the computer board wanting to still be sleeping but it is elusive at best this morning! Nothing good happens in one's mind at 3 AM I am certain! I tried to get more sleep but it just would not happen so here I am with really nothing but frustration happening! This darn Apple desk top for some reason is on guest check in which means I can not access anything of importance. When I go the the main check in it asks for an administrator's name and password. I spent much of yesterday trying to get that or go around that or whatever and failed at each juncture. So I am tied to the 10 year old laptop and anyone can guess what that is like. I was able to find out that I have NOT overdrawn our bank accounts so that is good! Anyway I am drinking FP at 4 in the morning to calm myself down. Not sure that is a good idea. I have come to the conclusion that not a whole lot of good things go through my mind at 4 AM. No details here as it could get kind of "not good". I resolve to wait until the sun comes up and then revisit some of those 4 AM thoughts. I THINK I may have a better perspective when sun is shining through the window.
I have plans and hopes for the new year BUT decided to try and implement some of them starting today. I am guessing that I may fall in the bottom 5% of people in the world in terms of being disciplined in my personal life. So I have made NO New Year's resolutions but still 2021 just has to be better for me personally than 2020. It is one thing to know what one needs to do but a totally different thing to actually do it. I wish I had someone to blame for my failures but whenever I try to do that it seems I am in front of a mirror so go figure.
In looking back on 2020 all was not bad but of course there was that:
- Of course the front and center of most of the year was Terry. In fact she started feeling not herself in late December of 2019. So it goes without question that "TERRY" was my world for 2020. I have high hopes that her health will return in 2021 and life can again be kind of normal. BUT above all, for Terry, I desire and want her to be able to walk, to get around and to do the things that she did for all her life.
- One of the downers of this year has been my wood shop as it did not get used. Maybe next year.
- A fun thing for the year was actually learning some things in the kitchen by making jam out of the produce in the yard. That was fun and it was so fun to share it with others.
- I have been so thankful to be able to get on the tennis courts and enjoy that. I will knock on wood but for some time now no injuries to set my game back.
- I would be remiss if I did not say I am so thankful that Terry was able to sell her property in Minnesota. Actually that took place in September of 2019 but it spilled over into 2020 so I count it as this year. That had been on Terry's mind for several years so what a relief.
- I look at my kids and am so proud of who they are and what they do. I will take no credit for where they are today but I do think they had a pretty good start in life. When I see the talent, the successes and the work that they do I just say, "Lord you are so good give me great kids."
- The kids lost their Grandma Saunders in February and the gathering around her funeral was so nice. It is always sad to lose family but really Grandma lived a very long life.
- Of course, for me, losing brother Dave was difficult so put it mildly. Now, six+ months later I still miss him everyday. What helps me some is I know that in the last months, or even more, he suffered so now he is well again.
- It was fun to spend time with family in June even though it was for a sad event. To see and visit with John, Judi, Joan, Marlys and Helen was special. We missed Glorine and Terry who could not be there. The drive from Jamestown to Bergen cemetery reminded me of our drive from Kulm to the same place in October of 1964 as brother Ronald was buried in Bergen as well.
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