Here I sit at 732 Wiggins Bay Dr in Naples FL 34110. It is 8:00 PM and I have had a kind of busy day but then not really. This is a time that I could "let go" of some thoughts and I think that would not be good! So I just may ramble on for a time and get to bed early.
Tomorrow I head for the airport at 12:15 for my 2:15 flight. I gain an hour as I fly west so we should touch down around 4:45 MN time. It will then be kind of some packed days leading up to Terry's release from rehab. Terry went in the hospital April 4th and by my count it will be 104 days that she has been in the hospital/rehab when she is released on the 23rd. That is getting close to 1/3 of a year. She is making progress but it has been slow so it looks like it will be a wheelchair at least for some time. I rented one this morning and it is in the garage here. I have read up on GBS (Guillain-Barre Syndrome) and it looks like the future is cloudy. It affects each person in a different way. Some recover to be 100% again and some not so. It seems that over the last couple of days Terry has done better so we will see how things go. I have been a "care giver" in the past so this will not be new BUT yes it will be new. I have read up on diets for this and it looks like one just needs to eat healthy food. Now that is often easier said than done. In our phone conversation today Terry asked about her bike so that is a very good sign. I would not say she will never ride but it certainly will be a challenge but then Terry is pretty darn good at taking on challenges! Time will tell.
These last 4 months have perhaps been as challenging in my life as ever in the past. Terry's health has been, of course, at the forefront of my heart and mind. Then Dave's heart just could not support him any more and he went to be with Jesus. I am still reeling from his death. It seems more than once a day I, in my mind, think I should call him about something. It seemed like he always had an answer for me BUT now!
I have thought a lot about what is important in life. I was so honored that Marlys allowed me to have Dave's rifle and Dad's target 22. BUT what am I to do with them now? I can keep them. I can look at them. I can shoot them. BUT in the end they are THINGS and they are not something that can talk, can give advice or for that matter love. So are they important? Well yes but really the most important things in in life have a heart that can give, love and return love. I have dealt with what Grandma Saunders did with her money. I have thought "really I loved and cared for her daughter, I cared for Grandpa and yes I cared for her as well and what happened? Well it is only material things and for me, now, material things are kind of nice but really not so important. The thoughts go through and through my mind and then I think about growing up on the farm and the family I was part of and what now? It is mostly memories but I do cherish my two living sisters. Perhaps not more need be said but my mind is full of thoughts and more thoughts.
I actually slept for a couple of hours this afternoon and yes I am also tired now at an early hour. It may be an early night time tonight. Enough for now.
I will end by saying that I now know something about myself. When God created me he put a spirit in me that just does not do well when by myself. I really try but when confronted with "self" I just lose any sense of my being. I do not even like to admit it but I need to be with others beside myself. It seems like that is weak but maybe not as I am not sure. Anyway it is what it is and I certainly will live with it until Jesus too calls me.
Here we are at July and the months is Dave's. An outstanding father, dad, woodworker and a man of God he had it all. We miss him.
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