BUT

TERRY

I was able to visit with Terry for about 45 minutes yesterday.  The nurse wheeled her out of the rehab building and we sat under a canopy type building where there are tables and chairs.  It seems that must be a place where workers go outside to eat etc.  Terry was at a good place but she was baffled that she just had a morning where her strength went south as she was going north!  She seemed more at a loss for word than anything else.  She seemed to be realistic about her situation and I was surprised that she was at such a good place.  I said that we have days like that and I felt today would be a better day for her therapy.  She does seem to have some of her appetite back and I think that is really a plus.  I can not visit today but will see her again tomorrow.  

Oh my goodness I was so hoping for more rain as it showed that there was a 50%+ chance during the night but no luck.  So I am watering a bit as I over seeded the lawn yesterday and I am hoping to get some of that seed started before it fries in our heat.  Our weather forecast does seem a bit better as it shows 94 tomorrow but then in the 80s for the next 8 days.  Mostly mid 80s.  I would welcome some low 80s or even some high 70s but then of course I have nothing to say about it!

I tried the impossible and of course I failed!!!

I tried to recreate the past, I know at 73 I should know better but!!!

With Cynthia's promise of homemade bread and the chokecherry juice from Mary and Mark I thought I could bring back the past as I made syrup.  I knew that if I sat down to the kitchen table with cream and bread topped with chokecherry syrup I would think I was almost in heaven.  BUT.  I did that this morning and it was a hollow experience to put it mildly.  Don't get me wrong.  I am sure the bread that Cynthia gave me yesterday was at least as good as what Mom made.  Well I am not so sure the syrup I made compared to Mom's but really I think it was good.  The cream, well it was thick and sweet and all that but actually it could not hold a candle to the THICK cream that poured out of our separator in the entry at home.  In trying to figure out what went wrong I went to pictures as that is often my "go to" thing.

There is no doubt that the house of the farm was very different than my house today.  Does that make the syrup of the 50s and 60s any better or worse than the syrup of 2020?

Is there a difference in the cream that Betsy or Lumpy gave us daily than the cream of today?  Well I have to admit there really is.

I have to add this. It is our barn BUT when we were using it for milking it did not look like this.  That darn Dad cut a hole in it after we sold cows and used the hay barn for a garage!

Now I am asking myself which barn would produce the BEST milk and cream?  Of course in real life there may not be any difference BUT I am 100% sure that we had the happiest cows so I declare that they gave us the BEST.  With their utters wiped with a warm cloth and then human hands (mine of course) milking them while they ate oats and hay--they had to give the BEST!!!

So as I ate my cream and bread this morning I expected a "mountain top" experience but instead it was a downer.  The taste was not what I remembered, the syrup was not what I remembered and the texture was not what I remembered.  Now I absolutely know that my mind is pretty sound, maybe!  So with wet eyes I sat at the table and pondered why I was so so let down.  Then it all came to me:

• Memories are always better than real life BUT
• Our farm is no more as our barn yard is, this year, a soybean field.
• I am sure Cynthia makes bread that is every bit as good as Mom's BUT really can anybody make bread as good as your Mom's???
• Mom and Dad, of course, are not with us anymore.
• Brother Dave who usually helped me milk, may have milked some cows in heaven this morning!!!  Don't get me wrong I don't THINK I believe this!
• Betsy and Lumpy were great cows and pets so of course they gave the best milk!
• Was separating milk in the entryway better than pouring it out of the milking machines?
• Did warm tender hands bring better milk into the pail than a cold machine?
• AND just maybe Mom made better chokecherry syrup than I!

So I kind of dried my eyed with my sleeve and decided that one can not bring back the past so best to just think about it and leave it at that.  BUT I will try some cream and bread tomorrow just in case I might enjoy a second helping!

Darn it we had no more rain.  I over seeded the lawn yesterday with the hope and expectation that we would have rain but no luck.  So I am watering this morning trying to get some of that expensive seed to nestle down into the soil and take root.  Not sure it will work with this heat but I will give it a try.

I did stage for this picture.  I made another batch of raspberry/rhubarb jam yesterday and I think they are so pretty one should probably never open them!  I say staged because I put them on the buffet by the creation of cousin Arlene.    This may be the last of the rhubarb things as it is looking pretty thin in the yard.  

I am looking at the weather and I think maybe on Thursday or Friday I may be able to take out the kitchen windows and finish the paint job.  Gee as I look at them one can not tell if the inside trim is painted or not and it is tempting to say I am finished but of course one needs to do the last 10% for a good job.

I just can not get myself out into the wood shop yet as the temp inside has usually been around 90-95 and that is NOT a good place to work.  I have done some work in the past with temps like that and it leaves me continually wiping my table saw top off as if a person leaves a drop of sweat on the top it turns to rust quickly.  AGAIN a great excuse to not work!!!

I have no idea who reads this blog but I will repeat what I said in an e-mail yesterday.  They will not deliver mail to Terry's building so IF anyone wants to send Terry a card send it to 2094 Niles Ave, St. Paul, MN 55116 and I will bring it to her.  They are treating her current placement as if it is a nursing home and the precautions are REAL.  I can NOT go up to 4th floor.  There is a nurse with her at all times as we talk as they want people to stay 6 feet apart no matter where you are.  The nurse who was with Terry yesterday said they are trying to be super careful with this covid-19 thing and I understand that but it sure makes for difficult visits.  

That is it for today.  If there are people who read this and lift Terry up in prayers I could use some of that prayer power also.  With so many things uncertain in the future and so much time with Terry in the rehab/hospital it wears one very thin at times.  I promises that I can not and will not give up but there are times when I kind of throw up my hands and say what can I do?

In my "downer" kind of attitude this morning I decided I did not need FP as that stuff is so good one should deserve it when you get it so for me this morning no breakfast and no FP.  Maybe tomorrow.