A day that will never go away

Janet was born on this day in 1938

February 12, 1966

I felt like I could not really get out of bed.  I had just taken a phone call.  Chet, who dormed down the hall, had knocked on the door as I was trying to study for that darn chemistry test coming up.  Of course in those days there were NO cell phones so our 3rd floor dorm had one phone which hung on the wall in the middle of the floor.  Really there were seldom phone calls as the phone was used mostly to make out going calls.  I would guess even in those calls it would be mostly to try and connect with a girl friend.  But Chet came into my room and said there was a call for me.  I slowly got up from the desk but really I did not want to get the call.  You see Janet had taken sick on Friday and by Saturday night the prognosis was not good.  In fact it seemed that it was only a matter of time.    I stumbled to the phone, heard the voice on the other end saying that Janet had died and John had not gotten there in time (I think that is correct).  I don't even remember hanging up the phone, I just got back to my room and fell onto the bed.  There I remained the rest of the day with so so many thoughts going through my head.  

How could this be happening?  Ronald had died only months earlier and now Janet was gone too.  I loved all of my siblings but Janet and Ronald were different and special in many ways.  First was the fact that they went to high school in Lidgerwood and boarded in town.  My other older siblings, Joan and Dave, stayed at home and went to school with Helen and I.  That fact alone made them seem bigger, smarter and special in a way.  They were the ones that went away to college.  They were the ones who would come home from college and be the BIG sister or brother.  Lying in bed I thought of Joan, Dave and Helen.  Now we were the "ones' who were family.  It just seemed that everything changed over night.  

My thoughts went back to that Friday morning.  Joan had called and asked if I could baby sit Esther and Bob as Janet had the flu.  It was cold and there was snow on the ground but I let some air out of my bike tires and hoped on for the trek to south Fargo from campus.  When I arrived I found Esther and Bob were hungry so we had something to eat.  I could not find the dog.  Esther said it was under Janet's bed and would not come out.  

The next few days are a blur as Janet got worse, John was called, Glorine and Charlie came, Mom and Dad stayed at the hospital and there was Dave and Marlys who lived in Fargo too.  Bob and Esther were staying with Joan/Ron.  I still wonder why Ron and I carried Janet out of the house into Ron's car instead of calling an ambulance.  I am sure it made NO difference but really were we so naive or was that just the norm for the day?

With my head on the pillow and tears in my eyes I felt today, Sunday the 13, I did not care if I was in college or on the farm.  Maybe I should quit school and just go home.  I was having trouble in chemistry, my grade in advanced algebra was scary and the only "A" I was getting was in Air Force ROTC BUT I had no intention of going into the service.  Then I thought about Helen.  She was the only sibling at home now.  I remembered how home had been after Ronald died and now--I was not sure how or if Helen would survive being at home.  Of course she would have the same situation as we had after Ronald died.  Alone and no place to go and nobody to talk to.  I mean HOW would you, back in 1964/66, talk to your classmates about losing a sibling or for sure losing two!    

Of course everyone survived.  I do not think Mom every was the same.  Dad, I can not say.  I and my siblings, we each had our own life to live and that we did but I am sure there were two holes that were never filled again.  

So here I am today.  Now, at an advanced age, I understand how death can change life but I also understand that God desires us to move on with life.  In our weakest days he gives us strength to move on, to live and to be a representative to others in His name.  To that end it makes life worth living.  Life is interesting.  Today I sit back and remember how death in our family changed so many things and tomorrow I will sit back and remember how new life, (Travis' birthday) came into being and that too changed so much but for the better!

My FP is gone and maybe it is time to think about today's tennis match.  I have put myself on court #1 with Ron.  Ron is a great partner but Country Creek will bring at least two courts that have 3.5 players.  Should be fun.  IF we were to win it would be GREAT.  If we lose a close match it will still be fun.  If we bet BLOWN off the court it will be a learning experience!  Regardless of what happens here we come!