Happy Mother's Day to all moms

Day 192, "Every picture has a story"

I choose this picture for a reason today.  First I want to say this is our farm barn BUT it was not like that when I was growing up.  The gas tank was not there as that is the side of the barn we threw hay into the hay room.  The hole in the wall is where Dad parked his car BUT that was our hay barn with the hay or bales or when it was empty a place to play ball with the 5 gallon pail nailed to the wall.  As one looks to the right beyond that looks like nothing but growing up that was the barn yard where the cows stayed in the winter.  

But now for my thoughts today.  The electric pole is the pole I would shimmy up and get on the roof. I would then walk over the top and lie on the other side of the roof.  It is there I would stare up to the sky and dream about what the future might be like.  When I would see the vapor trail of any airplane I might pretend I was on it and it would take me all over the world.  

WELL TODAY THINGS ARE MUCH DIFFERENT

AND OF COURSE MANY OF MY CHILDHOOD QUESTIONS ARE NOW ANSWERED

• I knew I never wanted to be a teacher but was in education for 38 years
• I knew I did not want to stay on the farm AND the last time I spent any time was the summer of 1966
• I was not sure I would ever get married but married when I was 21
• I was not sure I would ever want to go to college but ended up with a MA degree in 1976
• Really the interesting thing is how a person's mind works or the places it goes.  When I was young I would dream of having money to do what ever I wanted.  I thought I would eat a banana every day as we never had them at home!  I dreamt of far away places but the strange thing is I always saw those places in the context of North Dakota.  I did not have black or yellow or dark or light people in my dreams as I really had never seen them so every place I went I say white people like me.  I thought everyone would think like me (It took me some time to realize NOBODY thought like me!)  To sum it up I thought of the whole world kind of like being a North Dakota.
• Today, at the age of 72, life is now kind of in the twilight. (Remember a day has morning, noon afternoon, twilight and night so I am NOT saying I am near the end yet!)  I find that there are fewer dreams but more memories and thoughts of the past.  At times I find it a challenge to NOT focus on what I should have done or what I did wrong.  I am absolutely positive that if I could live my life over I would be perfect!  I am not saying I have all these regrets but rather just thoughts.  Actually one of the things that comes to mind often here in Naples is my work.  I would like to think that I am as smart and energetic as most of the guys I play tennis with yet I am positive most, if not all, of them earned 2X, or 3X, or 4X, or 5X or 10X as much as I did teaching.  I had a short conversation with a friend and tennis player Friday and it was interesting what he said.  He talked about enjoying work, doing good etc and it kind of put the $$ in the background.  This is a guy who has $,$$$,$$$ in the bank.  I should mention that I actually can play toe to toe with him in tennis too!!!  
• Regardless I have now traded the barn roof for the pool or the easy chair.  Then I could dream the dreams of a young man and now I can enjoy the restful comfort of an easy chair or pool while I remember.  
• I do want to say that I feel there is a lot of life ahead.  If any family is reading I am not talking in terms that Dad talked the day of Mom's funeral.  NO WAY.  I loved Dad.

Terry and I went to our last play yesterday.  Now that we are finished with our book lectures and our playes I have to admit I feel so much smarter and some much more cultured!!!  Really it was fun.  I admit that I am about as uncultured as one can be as my life has not really been filled with book things, plays etc.  It is not that I wanted to avoid those things but they do require money and for me that has been in short supply most of my life.  I am amazed with some of these plays.  Yesterday was a good example.  In my mind one of the things that took the quality down a bit was the frequent use of the "F" word.  It just seemed out of place.  I do not use that word but I would say once in a great while in a play it may not seem so bad BUT to use it often and in the way they did yesterday just diminished the quality of the play a lot.  That aside, I enjoyed it.  2019/2020 more culture I hope!!!

As we know the barn is no more.  The land it was on is now a field where crops grow.  The pasture that I had so much fun in is now crop land.  Times have a way of changing the landscape as well as lives of people.  Today, as I sip and savory my FP I give thanks for who I am, who I have been and for all the blessings I now have.