Sunday, November 13, 2011

Put your left hip in

Here is Uncle Travis and Faustina on her birthday last May.  Tomorrow Travis will be that number 3 + 37.  He was born in Mercy Hospital in Devils Lake ND at about 6 AM.  As I was thinking about that day my first thought was wow Travis will be 40 and then I thought wait a minute when he was born I was 24.  That was a long time ago and oh my gosh how much has transpired in the last 40 years.  Life certainly has a way of zooming ahead and with it God's hand is in so so many changes in families, in individuals and maybe as much as anything inside of a person. 
I have been thinking much about the inner person lately.  Mainly thinking about myself and how I perceive myself, how others may see me and then who or what is the real me.  I have thought about how one gets married and works so hard at melding two into one, then when that marriage is ended how a person tries to be that one again.  Now for me I have entered into another marriage and am trying to be that one again but wait things are different now.  There actually is two different people trying to become a new "one" and how may that play out and what may that appear to be to other people.  An example would be the fact that I am not deer hunting this weekend.  I have hunted in the past and I have had such a great time with or without a deer.  Well here I am going on bike rides, swimming, playing tennis and enjoying temperatures in the 80's.  Have I changed, is there a new me, is it just a time in my life, does the new "one" that I am trying to become make it impossible to hunt deer, have I grown old and lazy.  WOW I have found that these questions are good ones to ponder.  I have also come to realize that a person really does not change their inner self at my age.  I struggle each day to become a better person, to become a better friend, to become a better husband, to become a better dad, to become a better grandpa but the core, the inner self is the same as when I was little.  One example is a book I am reading for a series of book forums Terry and I will take in.  The book is not a bad book but the content is, well I will not mention the book here because, more on the raw side than any book I have read.  I find myself really not liking the kind of content is often has.  It may be a very well thought of book in literacy circles but for me I say it is not my kind.  Why, I know it is my growing up.  For the most part it goes back to the ideas and the morals my mom impressed to me.  Now I want to say that much of what my mom believed was a bit on the edge because she had such a narrow life but for sure the morals and the beliefs she gave me have stayed with me and for that I am very very thankful. 
I want to say that with Travis' birthday tomorrow I have been thinking about him a lot.  Of course he has pretty much been on his own since he left for college and for sure I have no idea of many of the things he has done or things he has been part of but to me he is such a good person and I am so proud to say he is my son.  I have come to know that it is not possible to know the "inner person" of someone (perhaps not even self) else but I believe that Travis has an inner person that comes only from God.
I have begun to keep track of things that tell me what are signs that I am maturing!!!  Here are the ones I have come up with so far:
  • When you go shopping at the mall you make sure you park so you can enter through the door closest to the restrooms.
  • Each day you eagerly flip through the mail to see if your medicare card came.
  • One of the first things you do in the morning is go to your phone or your calendar to see if today is the day you have that weekly meeting.
  • When the paper comes you scan the headlines and then search for the obits.
  • When you get a new phone you ask your kids or your grand kids to show you how to use it.
  • When you walk on the beach on a hot sunny day you roll up the sleeves of your T shirt but leave the shirt on.
  • You make reservations at the restaurant based on the menu for early bird specials.
  • You  decide to forgo Christmas presents and give money instead because it is too hard to keep up with what grand kids want these days.
  • You and your wife can sit at home and enjoy each other without saying a word.
  • When it is easier to read the news in the paper the next day than stay up through the 10 o'clock news.
  • When a walk to the corner store becomes a joy ride.
  • When you sit on the front steps hoping someone will come by to talk to you.
  • You decide to drive 5 more miles to the other gas station because you are sure you can save a penny a gallon.
  • The freeways now seem to you like you would have imagined the autobahn(sp?) in Germany.
  • When you get a coupon in an e-mail for "buy one get one free" and you print out half a dozen.
Now I have not experienced many of these but I think they may come with age!!
I will end today by saying that I am very thankful for my life today.  There have been many detours in my life over the last 8 years.  For sure there have been many happy times and many difficult times too.  Today, 11-13-2012 I am happy and thankful for my life and for what God has allowed me to enjoy at this time.  Is it totally full--no.  There are things I desire, things I miss, things I wish I could change but life is good.  Terry is such a wonderful person, I am perhaps healthier than I have been for a long time (my BP at the store this past week was 127/79 and my weight has stayed down a bit :):) and I am able to enjoy things I have never done in the past.     My life has gone in directions and ways I never imagined but it is good, it is exciting and I am so thankful.  Over the last two weeks in Naples the tennis, the bike rides, the walks and much more have been soothing, restful and wonderful.
 Thank you Lord.

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